Friday, October 19, 2012

HEALING


Its the choices we make that defines us
There used to be a time when we lay side by side
and we couldn’t get our hands off each oda
 now we lay 2geda with our backs up against da wall
maybe because I found someone new
maybe because we lost the seed of love before it grew
I cant beg you to touch me like u used to
Someone else does it better
Besides u wont do it like u used to
I’ve found ways to make it without u
I remember sleeping with tears in my eyes
Every nite with hopes on how I will survive without u
Now im doing way better than I tot I ever would
Again and again, I believed love was simply an art that will fade
With time, I realized its who u love that fades
Things fall apart wen the foundation was never strong
Don’t build a glass house on shaky rocks
It will fall and shatter
Like my heart did with every hit and every curse
That came from u
I was never perfect
Alota things I shoulda kept to myself
My hands, my tots, my happiness, my love
But I shared it all with u
Now I stare deep in ur eyes again and again
Hoping u’d see what I see
A broken spirit healing
Hoping u’d feel what I feel
A broken heart wondering
Loneliness and unhappiness
Are the least of my worries
Not Losing who I am becomes my priority
The possibility of me always being in love with u is slim
Ur memories and ur presence do slow down my healing
But ur a broken dream I don’t wanna hold unto
But ur always here
U never was
When I needed u
u never know how much u can live without someone until u give it a shot
den u'd realize how easy it could be to fall outta love
no matter how deep, how real, how extreme
my love, drowned in the bottom of the sea
my happiness, hanging up in the clouds
but my strength still lives in me
With that, I will love again and be happy again
there was only one way to be with u
which was to love u
but there r a million ways to NOT be with u
u’ve had my heart and my body
but my mind remains mine to control
wld rather hold on to my unforeseen death
than to life with so much bruises n scars
holding unto you is holding unto the cuts and the burns
dat i choose not to do
remember, its the choices we make that defines us


Venomous Love


I’ll stay inside your head
Till I start a fire in it
I’ll sleep on ur heart
Till it races faster than the horses
I’ll keep you up at night
Staring at the stars
That’ll remind you of the million scars
In my heart
I will watch ur finger bleed
With every word of apology
I’ll laugh harder that you ever made me
I’ll make ur emotions live outside ur body
I’ll make you have a soul
Give you mine which you destroyed
I’ll watch you fall into the pits
The holes in shackles
Maybe the drips, the drips of your red
Would soothe my sorrowful heart
I’ll help u count ur blessings
And make you recite my losses
We’d learn a whole new alphabet
Make a new narrative
And publish a whole new emotion
We had it all
We had it all except u
Everything else was there
But you went missing
I searched everywhere to find you
But found you with a dagger
Waiting to embrace me
Chest to chest
Piercing deep into my organz
Watching my venom bleed in tears
I’d pierce my nails deep into your green skin
Deep enough to reach the soul of this green monster
Cage my last breath
It will remind you of a heartless journey
A soulless life; a cursed mind
Take it away from me
Violently in the light
Peacefully in the dark
You chopped my body up
And dined in every piece
The world at your feet
Milk like venom and death like bread
U’d never stay hungry, never stay thirsty
Ur wishes came true
You wanted it all
No resurrection to my fall
You wanted it all
Love so venomous
Crawl up on me
Change ur skin
Slip, slide in deep
Fall to the ground trying to insert your antidote
In exchange for this venom
My venomous love





It Just Might Come 2 u



 sometimes i lack the strength to move 
especially when i start to question whatz real or not
deep into ma subconscious I feel inferior to everything else thatz amazing
nature, love, the earth, a new born
its like casting a death sentence upon ma will to survive
ever seen a corpse talk, smile, breathe, eat and live?
dark mind puzzling thoughts 
yet light reflection upon its reality
I know u feel da pulse faster than usual
maybe it will stop sometime wen the fears r subtle
loneliness? depression? agony? hatred?
perhaps love amongst all odds could do the trick
end this dreadful fate of being lost
beyond da tears crawling down ones cheeks
beyond da years of ones existence
beyond everything else that once mattered


Do u see beauty in darkness?
The one piercing deeper into ur soul
Filled with memories and enticing let downs
I know u feel it too 
if you think you dont 
then u dont know how to heal it too
jus a minute to hear it, a second to feel it 
a lifetime to see it 
then the virtues kick in 
how long can you wait?
are you really alright is a mind puzzling question again
if you think you are
then you just might
you just will be 
if you think you ain't

you just might not 
you just wont be 
someday we shall all feel it too 
deep into our spines and bone marrows
don't question it 
most try to fight it 
to a death win or life loss
consume or be consumed 
the content in which u store inside you during consumption
could also consume you
a tough choice to make outta this 
maybe its not as dark as it seems 
maybe ur jus not as light as u should be 
close ur eyes and create an illusion
of what you should see 
of what you wanna see 
it jus might come to you
in the perfect picture 
neither a waste nor a shame
to be da prisoner in this
wen da most beautiful eyes starts to lie
and the lips becomes more truthful
everything definitely seems different
The road to heaven ain't all pretty
neither is the shackles to hell
you feel that which ur meant to
that which u clda changed but didnt, cldn't, wldnt
shattered heart, scattered mind
shallow thoughts, shameful acts
they just all might come to you my dear
it just might come to you




NK JR