ILLUSIONS

Sometimes I find myself thinking
Will I wake up thanking God that I’ve been dreaming
Other times I find myself believing
That time is on my side, maybe I should just keep living
Life the way it comes
Just sit and watch my future what it becomes
But these days it’s becoming impossible to ignore
I’ve been through this road before
Where pain is felt but crying is not an option
Words have no saying in my agony, it’s all about action
Why wait till thy kingdom come?
Where else will my savior come from?
Why wait for “eventually”?
Maybe it’s my destiny potentially 

Late at night, I watch the skies
This time I’m not crying, no more cries
But the cold breeze brush through my thighs
And I wonder what happens to my soul when my body dies
Who will have me in their memories
Who will remember me as time flies?
Maybe I deserve a remembrance
Maybe I deserve to be history
Did I love him the right way or was I just fill with mystery?
Maybe I’d feel better if I asked myself for forgiveness
Maybe life would make more sense if I live it the way others confess
It should be done
Maybe I deserve the opinions and the judgments
Maybe I deserve these torments

Was I ever ready for anything?
Or did I care about everything?
Did I break or did I fix nothing?
Is my heart living or is it a thing?Do I really wanna wear a wedding ring?
Maybe I deserve it
Do I wanna wake up every morning, so happy and sing?
Maybe I deserve it
Do I regret my last animalistic fling?
Maybe thatz the way it should be 

Every mistake, every action, every regret
Every emotion, every sweat, every life’s debt
Every nightmare I’ve fought
And every dream I’ve thought
Maybe I deserve it
Time has wasted and it’s still wasting
The lows and the highs, I will be tasting The dark and the light, will be pasting
If u ask me, I’m not ready for what my mind’z delusions
It’s my life reflected in everything I see; it often comes as illusions