BREATHLESS... (Wake up after the moon's gone?)

Sometimes I wonder why my tears never dry up
Other times I live in regrets
I hurt myself more cos some memories just don’t fade away
And I let my spirit get weak and my soul is astray

I listen to silent whispers
Uttering words that hinders
My hidden thoughts
My unheard voice
My blind sight

I seek pleasure in alcohol
Clearing some mental space
And finding my resting place
I live with myself by smoking my pains away
And trying to smile at every face
I keep my distance from perfection
And run away from those who chase my affection
I love to hate those who talk about love and passion

The best days of my life
Turn into my worst nightmares
When I wake up and look into the mirror
All I see are rebellious stares
I feel raindrops in my soul
But it’s just tears in my eyes pouring outta control

In the shower, I sing, I whistle and I giggle
Just like every other girl
I cry and I laugh
Just like every other girl
But others are asleep
I like to stay awake
I lay quietly on the bed I make
And hoping that my soul the devil don’t take
When others talk
I’m silent, most times I take a walk
Thinking through my wrongs
And hating to correct them to rights

A call, a cuddle, a night out
With someone special
Who claims to TRULY “love” me
But I know it ain’t what it is
Words to some are false
My words is my reality
My soul feels torn up
And I’m left with feeling reckless
Sometimes I get helpless; other times I stay clueless
I lay on my bed to sleep and I wonder
Would I wake up after the moon is gone, breathless?

My heart's cold
just like my body
My voice is still
just like my soul
Everything’s blurry
Everything’s gone in the twinkle of an eye
We live to die
Die to live
I’m begged to stay
But I wanna go away
I go on my knees and pray
That I’d get a picture of my fate
I do believe in God but I do have very little & fragile faith
Will I ever see heaven’s gate?
Will I learn to love and trust my soul mate?
I sympatize with my mind
and say "it's not so bad"
but thatz only in my dreams
in my reality
it is indeed not so bad


WITH LOVE
NK