Living To Die

The beginning of me
Is the end of me
The girl living outside
It’s her turn to die inside
A reflection of my shadow
Also shows
A lost jewel dat glows
So hard to grow
Silent secret, no one knows

I question love
I question the God above
Is dis me? Or is this a cover?
When would my life be over?
To others
It’s a scary thought
To me; it’s an extreme must
Really hot yet really cold
Really young yet really old
as more storms approaches
I pray for more rain
but the truth is, nothing could drain
this unconcealable pain
so much reasons to die
yet so few to live

My distractions
Are my potential magnet life attractions?
To rage, to anger to hate
Why say you care when you don’t
Why say you’d stay when you won’t
You’re here not lost
Passions going astray with a cost
Emotions; undying affections
Divided attention
Because I die to live
And I live to die
and when I do die
I would wanna resurrect
to correct
shyt of the world dat ain't right
make sad lives bright
make the depressed have better night
calm every fear; every fright

Give me your confidence
Take my fears
Give me your conscience
Take my tears
because I am soon to have blood on my hands
Seeking a chance to breathe
Complex simplicity
Is better off lived
With yet another less complicated life
I’m the definition
Of a girl with faithless fate
With no feelings to believe in soul mate
I seek pain instead of pleasure in every bedmate
Because that is what I would rather feel
Because I am ice, I am real

who is scared of death?
you can keep your breathe
while I take mine
I hate this feeling
The one that got me thinking of killing
Of stealing
Yet another life as I take mine
But they say I’d be just fine
It’s a phase
Of mental case
Causing me sleepless nights
And continuous fights
Dying to live
Living to die
Ain’t life a fucking puzzle
Destiny blamed
And God questioned
But all is never lost… is it?