Torn apart? is your heart breaking? are your eyes crying? are you falling? Ever wished you hadn’t been so stupid to let yourself get so hurt? Lost your hope in fate, in time, in love, in everyone around you, in yourself? Do you measure how much u hurt when u hurt? Do u hide to cry cos u’re too ashamed to let anyone see those tears? Ever thought of calming your pride down and sucking up to the trials of life just to breathe the rest of your life the best way you know how… still bound in chains? hanging unto a memory that has left a scar on your heart or on your body ... do you look up to the stars every now and then and say "I have had enough"? ... what is the temperature of your heart? cold cos it's lifeless or hot in anger and rage? do you seek a witness to acknowledge your tears? to hear your cries? to soothe your pain? .... your emotions are getting the best of u, in it?
Sometimes I wanna be a boy but other times, I figured dat girls could be worse. Just think of me as an enemy not as a friend, think of me as death not as life, think of me as pain not as happiness, at least u won’t get stuck that way holding me to the highest of esteems. Try to remember a time in your life when everything that shoulda been right went wrong? When every good turned bad? When every smile turned sad and your own shadow faded away… (can u think of moments like that?)
If you can’t.. relax your mind.. Think harder.. Everyone’s got those moments. Our ancestors did, even Jesus Christ did too.. did you love in extreme? Did a devil seem like an angel?
Think carefully using your “black” minds. Do you live your life with so much rules, so much principles, do you always play safe? I understand what you looking out for, but the truth remains that you are swallowed by your fear. What hurts you most? Losing yourself or losing the one you love more than yourself?
Do you make mistakes and forgive yourself easier than you forgive others?.. Do you love and lose? Or do you always aim to win, in the end; you either win or fall the hardest.
We let our emotions develop so fast; we risk a chance of getting hurt. we let it develop slowly, we might miss out on the good there is in the world. I know I fell in love once under a few couple days to the worst monster that ever lived on this earth but the bright side of it, its consequences was positive. It made me stronger, I could think faster, live better, I learnt, I love, most of all.. I still smile.
Now, let’s take our “Black” minds back to a time when we sit at home all alone crying, thinking suicide, a time when you just wanna walk away from this earth, from everyone around u? Can you think of such a time when you just wanna pull the trigger? Shoot yourself; shoot the ones causing these never ending emotions? Do you have hidden words? Wishing there is someone you could talk to? Do you live to attain your freedom? Or do you enslave yourself in memories, in your past, in your emotional rage.
It’s dark, it’s burning, you wanna pick yourself up, but you stumble on every step, getting more hurt by the broken pieces. You take the same chance and you get hurt further. You sleep and wake up, still no difference. You’re taking a huge fall with no hope of ever getting up. Vulnerable to yourself and to the world. Try making something out of your emotions, not necessarily painting a picture of your pain, it could be red, your heart is burning in anger. How about you try painting it blue, seeking your peace and your happiness, or green, ever fruitful, living in pain we know denies us of that kinda delight. You’ve had enough right?... our ancestors were enslaved just like we are right now enslaved in our emotions, but they hardly had any choice to find their lost way like we do. Mentally and psychologically, they suffered, just like we do. Mental, physical or psychological, suffering is suffering. They were angry, just like we are right now, at ourselves, our heart, our head for not thinking straight.
Don't try to cage your anger, your emotions, your pain, it only ends up escalating. Getting hurt is alright, feeling alone is part of living, crying is essential to release the pain, don’t sleep on it, hoping to wake up, cos it rarely makes a difference. The truth is there in front of you just like the right person is. Everyone deserves to love, no one deserves to be left alone, You can’t miss a part of life dat is most beautiful ... LOVE.. no matter how much u have to try, learn to love again… happiness is yours to attain, yours to keep, yours to live with. Cast your pains away… just like our ancestors did.
WITH LOVE..
NK
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